just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
