"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
