are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize