Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
