This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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