My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
