maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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