yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
