this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
