It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
