one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize