I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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