how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
