I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
