Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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