We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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