I heard we made out
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
and you fell through a lawn chair
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
