it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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