Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
