Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
