Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ASHERBYMARIE hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(760): View more from California

dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.

Fav 12 3797 981
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(317): View more from Indiana

sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".

Fav 26 1537 6358
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(973): View more from New Jersey

$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

math is fun

Fav 31 5592 1195
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(704): View more from North Carolina

The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

Fav 20 8271 1582
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(317): View more from Indiana

I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.

Fav 13 5502 1214
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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.

Fav 6 2448 1270
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(954): View more from Florida

I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

Fav 10 1649 3924
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.

Fav 1 56 3
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(904): View more from Florida

Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home

Fav 0 16 41
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