Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i now understand why vodka
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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