Cold hands, warm shart.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I looked at my own cervix.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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