Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
