I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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