You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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