why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
