2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
