it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
