wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
