The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize