I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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