gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
