More tranny stories later!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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