so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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