why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
