if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
