So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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