I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize