did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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