your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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