After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
