Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
