Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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