I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
