note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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