okay pat passed out under dana's car
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
