So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
