we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
