soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize