I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
