If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Everyone says I win the strip club
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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