My first STD was from a foam party
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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