When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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