I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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