do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
