so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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