Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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