just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
