I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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