I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
