Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
