I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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