Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
