Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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