I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
