i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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