Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
