If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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