I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
